It’s a universal truth every bride realizes at some point: everyone’s got an opinion! And there are few opinions that matter more than a mother’s, whether that be your own or your partner’s.
We know there can be a lot of emotions (your own and otherwise) to juggle as a bride, and there can be a lot of pressure to please others. Read on for some advice on how to avoid any and all potential drama in the wedding planning process!
Start out by keeping everything in perspective. Your mother has also been dreaming of this day since you were very small, probably even longer than you have. Yes, she already had her day but it’s important not to rob her of the experience of being the MOB completely. Ensure that she feels heard and special: let her know the verdict of key decisions first, delegate tasks you think she could really nail, and above all, let her know her careful input is appreciated.
That being said, it’s important to establish boundaries early, but not aggressively. Try not to jump into defense mode right away. Lay out clear expectations and discuss decisions you’d like her to be involved in before they happen to avoid conflict later.
For example, if you’re worried about bringing your slightly abrasive mother dress shopping, go on your own or with a trusted friend first. Then, bring your mother to a second appointment, clarifying that you’d like her opinion on the gowns you’ve already tried. This way she knows that what she’s seeing are all gowns you like. This is side-stepping any clash of style preference and still including her in the final decision!
Hudson Nichols Photography
A MIL relationship can vary according to your situation; you may have already known this person for 10+ years or you may have only met them a handful of times. This is where communicating with your partner is key, as they may have some first-hand knowledge that could be really useful when navigating this new relationship! Gauge how involved your future MIL would like to be in the process, and see if you can find some moments to include them in or tasks to delegate!
If you find that you’re fielding calls at all hours and trying to find a polite way to ask her to back off, enlist the help of your fiancé. It is both of your weddings after all, and your fiancé can act as a mediator, guiding your MIL to aspects of the wedding you don’t mind her input on, and distracting her from the parts you’d rather not share.
At the end of the day, everyone involved needs to agree on one thing: let’s make this wedding fun and special for everyone. Just remember that for this one event, you have the last word. Stay in control, don’t get bogged down by strong opinions, and ask for help from your better half if you need it. Good luck!
Style Me Pretty Contributor – Goli Parvinian is a bridal enthusiast and masters student living in Melbourne, Australia. Over the past few years, she has worked for bridal brands in her hometown of Chicago, New Zealand and New York City. You can typically find her in a cafe, face-timing her nieces or out on a long run.
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